If you are struggling today, know that you are not alone.
If you constantly feel like you don’t measure up, like you keep trying to swim and tread water but the current threatens your every effort, you are not alone.
If the voices in your head, telling you you’re not enough scream too loudly, gently tell them to F off and know that I am there too.
So many of us are sitting on that cliff, sitting on the edge of our child’s bed rubbing their back and gripping the edge of our last piece of sanity.
So many of us are crying because we are just so tired, feeling empty and devoid of direction. After all, too much of our energy is going to worrying about our kids, about our husbands, or about our finances.
So many of us feel empty and exhausted and then walk into the living room to find one of our kids asleep next to the Christmas tree and smile with tear-filled eyes at the way our empty hearts can instantly fill up with such an abundance of love.
So many of us are on this rollercoaster.
We all thought our lives would begin and end with children, and in so many ways our existence is inextricably tied to their happiness, health, and safety.
But also deep within us, we are coming to understand that even our babies cannot fill us up completely. We are realizing that we still have more to do, and that can be annoying because we thought this was it! This place in our lives would be where we found true happiness and peace.
But there is this lie that has been fed to us since the day of our birth that something is going to fill us up and completely fulfill us and make us whole and that something comes from outside of us. For me, it was children. For some, it is money, the house, the marriage, the engagement ring, the car, the job, the fame, the success the recognition, and the vacations. The list goes on and on and on.
Whatever it is, it will never be enough.
You are the miracle you seek. The peace you crave lies within, and I am still trying to figure that one out, but I believe it is the truth.
Even though that may be true, so many mothers are sitting with their heads in their hands, binging Netflix and Cheetos to fill back up from so much that has been pulled from them in one day. We already miss our babies as they sleep but we are also dreading the fact that in a few short hours, the insanity of parenting will resume.
Motherhood is grueling. I have been in many draining, mountainous, soul-challenging experiences in my life, and yet none quite compare to this.
You are not alone. You are seen. I see you.
And if you have the energy to pull yourself away from the latest game on your phone or the next episode of Dear John- which I’m not sure I do but since I’m writing it I’m going to give it my best shot- here are some ideas for a little TLC that have been helping me lately. It seems they rejuvenate me and my inner world, and I am a better mother the next day than I would have been had I not put self-care at the forefront of my evening priorities.
Ideas for Mama TLC After the Kids Are Asleep
Meditation
I love Insight Timer. They have so many options for short evening meditations. Even 10 minutes before bed helps me sleep better and BE better in the morning.
Reading
For the book lover out there like me, reading a great book lifts my spirit at the end of a long day with babies or work or worry. Escaping into words is so much different for me than watching Netflix or playing games. It allows my mind to settle and provides an outlet for my imagination besides stressing and future tripping.
Journaling
Buy yourself a beautiful journal and just dump everything on the page. It’s incredibly healing and gets rid of all of the junk in my mind at the end of the day.
Tapping
Tapping is incredible. The Tapping Solution App has free, 10-minute tapping sessions that calm the nervous system and settle everything down.
Take a Bath
There is something so beautiful about giving your body the serenity of a hot bath, washing away the clutter of my mind and the insanity of the day.
Call a friend or talk to your partner
It’s so refreshing to have a quiet, adult conversation without being interrupted. I love talking to my husband like we did before we had kids, connecting in a way that we are not able to during the day. I am still working on my phone communication skills as all of my friends know, but there is nothing better than the times my anxiety allows me to pick up the phone and vent with a best friend about how hard some days can be.
I wish you a wonderful few hours of uninterrupted sleep before one of your kids disrupts it all. Sending you love, perseverance, and the reminder that you are not in this by yourself.
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